{"id":1472,"date":"2023-05-12T07:53:24","date_gmt":"2023-05-12T11:53:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/?p=1472"},"modified":"2023-05-12T07:53:24","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T11:53:24","slug":"interview-with-flower-conroy-by-morgan-whitney-and-william-pagliarulo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/?p=1472","title":{"rendered":"Interview with Flower Conroy by Morgan Whitney and William Pagliarulo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Your pieces are incredibly abstract, are there specific meanings that you derive from them or hoped your audience would derive from them?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I absolutely love this question because (believe it or not!) I hadn\u2019t thought of these poems as being abstract. In fact, when I read the first question I second guessed myself and thought \u201coh god what poems did I send them?!\u201d Which in hindsight is silly because I relish in the abstract. Perhaps it was a forest through the trees response\u2014I know I\u2019m juggling many extraneous moving pieces within these poems and sometimes the connective tissue is stretched membrane thin but as their creator I have an intimacy with them that isn\u2019t privy to a reader\u2014so your question prompted me to comb more thoroughly through the poems to see what it was I was doing on paper intuitively and through revision and how these poems exist looking from the outside in (which meant I had to look inside out). So please indulge me as I think through this vortex hour of process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAxolotl\u201d and \u201cMushroom\u201d are from a bestiary I\u2019m working on; all the \u201csubjects\u201d I address represent creatures, objects and\/or ideas that personally fascinate me. But curiosity wasn\u2019t\/isn\u2019t enough motive to explore these subjects\u2014I wanted them to resonate in a larger sphere so I needed to mine them for external connections\u2014a make-the-private-universal approach. How humans interact with the natural world\u2014and worlds we\u2019ve made \u201cnatural\u201d (highways aren\u2019t natural<\/em> but we have made them so, for example)\u2014intrigues and worries me. Climate change, extinction, compassion (or the lack there of) for fellow human beings are at the nucleus of this project\u2014but saying the obvious \u201cenvironmental destruction is bad, extinction is bad, hurting others is bad\u201d isn\u2019t necessarily poetry. My task then became how to elevate these concerns through an \u201cisolated\u201d lens in order to shed new light on the subjects I\u2019ve chosen. The poems tend to be highly associative; they depend on juxtaposition to create tension and subtexture; they\u2014to borrow Brenda Hillman\u2019s phrase\u2014\u201cfollow [my] weird.\u201d And my ear. I often think of ED\u2019s head coming off notion of what poetry should do to the reader and I verily want the reader to come away from my poems haunted by a \u201cwhat just happened (to me)?\u201d feeling. That can\u2019t happen unless it happens to me first. I crave transformation, mind and bodily altering experiences; I want my poems to be part aphrodisiac, part poison, part enlightenment, part heartbreak. Some humor in the horror. A thinking through the feeling and a feeling through the thinking. So I guess that does make them incredibly abstract lol. And like the best abstract art I want them to mean something without meaning something\u2014or without meaning something overtly tangible and definable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tom Sleigh once told a story in which his friend was given the advice \u201cyou don\u2019t have to change your life you have to change your line length.\u201d These poems adhere to physical constraints; they are cast in prose poem form but can only occupy as much space as a 5.83\u201d x 8.27\u201d page will allow [in effect giving the poems a false sense of containment and fixedness, and creating tension between form (prose lineation) and content (lyrical mediations)].  The epigraphs are meant to meant to refute, confute, complicate, confuse and\/or illuminate the subject matter. This highly orchestrated structuring freed me to be more tangential in the poem itself. I am trying to cram a ton of information into a small space\u2014that isn\u2019t possible without making greater leaps between thoughts. In \u201cAxolotl\u201d for example, I begin with an allusion (via a wrong etymology) to where the word axolotl derives from. Researching the salamander I was reminded how they can regenerate; Scott Sayare asks in his article for aeon, \u201cMight salamanders be the great hope of regenerative medicine?\u201d This whispered ideas of medicine (albeit through another convoluted etymology) which circled back to \u201cmouth.\u201d I went down the rabbit hole (or salamander hole in this case) of how language morphs and changes and can be distorted (the Victorian slang, the anagrams), and braided that with ideas of healing and evolution (how humans seem a cross\u2014or recipe<\/em>\u2014between\u2014as I once heard it described\u2014ape and angel, or here, ape and alien. The introduction of an \u201calien\u201d speaks back to the \u201cJupiter\u201d earlier in the poem\u2026). \u201cTo\u2019ve syntax & imagery work in equal measures\u201d alludes to the larger interconnectedness we might not always be able to communicate clearly but can feel. The shift to the spirit on the staircase\u2014that \u201cmoment when we think of the perfect response to a comment earlier\u201d is another harkening back to missed opportunity (as extinction is a missed opportunity to change the course of history). The chilled<\/em> is a pun on cold shoulder\u2014the poem has taken a more menacing turn (whose seed was subtly suggested in the lake that no longer exists and other language\u2014apex predator\/ vortex)\u2014which is echoed in the devil\u2019s flower mantis but then is softened by undercutting threat<\/em> with display<\/em>. I would have to admit this is the most abstract moment in the poem\u2014as we begin with the (aquatic) salamander but end with an image of a terrestrial insect\u2014but syntactically these last two lines are elaborations of the relationship between language and image. See it all makes perfect sense lol! Of course most of this didn\u2019t occur to me in the crafting of the poem. That\u2019s where revision comes in\u2014organizing the information in a random-yet-inevitable Plink-o way, following sound and modulating rhythm, cranking and lessening tension, juxtaposing tones\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What specific meaning do I derive from this poem? I think it is less meaning<\/em> that I chase and more of a means<\/em> of pleasure\u2014of playing with language and ideas and how images can convey emotional subtext\u2014a way of<\/em> meaning and suspending time and then reentering the world with a different (and perhaps more riddled) sense of it\u2014an embodiment of the \u201cthere is a universe and it is behind this universe\u201d idea.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back at \u201cMushroom\u201d I completely understand how these poems could be received as abstract\u2014this poem indulges if not thrives in the incredibly abstract! I just didn\u2019t think of it quite like that\u2014I was thinking how to articulate the unknown and how to reinvent the known. It\u2019s no small accident this poem straddles the psychedelic, melding the earthly with the otherworldly, pitting beauty and danger. Perhaps this poem\u2019s greatest preoccupation is the uncanny valley<\/em> between our perceptions of reality and the true nature of reality whatever that may be\u2014there\u2019s a vast gap between the threshold of our senses and the ultraforces governing this universe. (If you\u2019ve not seen Fantastic Fungi<\/em> I highly recommend it. There\u2019s definitely some of my take-away from that movie residual below the surface in this poem\u2014and probably also the movies Arrival<\/em> and My Octopus Teacher<\/em> lurking here as well\u2014there being a parallel between mycelium and tentacles in my mind, an \u201cas above so below\u201d going on, but also the implication of reaching.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have to push myself into strange terrains, to root through language and create an experience.  Emily had her head popping off, I have my heady trapdoors I slip through. I am more likely to agree than to disagree that every poem is an ars poetica; it is a making of itself. And as such makes in another. Now I would have to say I\u2019m being incredibly\u2014though not intentionally\u2014abstract! I want my audience to be transported emotionally, intellectually and\/or viscerally, to be stimulated and unnerved, entertained and maybe even disturbed. My 90-year-old mother-in-law (whom I adored and whom recently passed) never ate a strawberry in her life; for better or for worse, I want my poems to be her eating a strawberry for the first time\u2014that<\/em> sensation inside the reader. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are there any stories from your early life that root themselves in your work today?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My early life is integral to my poems. Shortly after his 45 birthday, my father\u2019s heart stopped. Longer story abridged, he was comatose for over a year before we disconnected his feeding tube. Twenty plus years later and this incident still haunts my work. As a child my house burned within (not down\u2014it was a concrete block structure so the house fire was akin to a kiln)\u2014this ghosts my poems. That my father was a hunter and mispronounced certain words. That my mother\u2019s mother passed when I was a baby. That she was an avid reader of romance novels. That I am an only child and I was loved. And sheltered (no pun intended). All this comes into play in my work in some residual way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was the process of getting these pieces to a place that you liked?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do enjoy talking shop\u2014as if you hadn\u2019t gathered! Just as I\u2019m inclined to believe poems are innately ars poeticas<\/em> more so than not, I\u2019d also readily agree I\u2019m hardly satisfied with where my poems arrive; that is, I am nettled by the idea that there is always an ultimate ulterior place they could go\u2014a being-nearly-satisfied-by-being-unsatisfied dichotomy; again, this idea of reaching. So the process of getting them to a place that I like is really the process of exhausting what the poem can be. And what it will not tolerate. Sometimes that means returning to the earlier drafts\u2014as with \u201cMushroom.\u201d Before its acceptance into hex<\/em>, I was in the murk of overhauling the poem. I\u2019d printed the bestiary manuscript out and was hand revising; when I reread \u201cMushroom,\u201d I had a \u201cwtf is this?\u201d reaction; I was afraid it was too disjointed, too\u2014yes\u2014abstract, that it veered too far away from semblance.  But semblance to what? I marked certain lines with \u201c?\u2014,\u201d I crossed out others, in the marginalia I scribbled: \u201cI named a dog after you\u2014because as a pup she hid under the bed like a toadstool,\u201d \u201crenunciation. forgiveness.,\u201d \u201cstay true to the mushroom.,\u201d \u201cthe hotel overdose\u2014,\u201d and \u201conce I tasted the crazy you.\u201d Then I abandoned the revision thinking I\u2019d return to it after I let these reactions settle. I was focusing on an ideal audience (what is that?) and not listening to the poem on its terms. The first line in the poem was answering me: \u201cTo detect such designs, however, is not necessarily to understand them.\u201d The poem was giving itself permission to be itself. Why did I feel the need to distill something of healing and psychotropic potential born out of the dank and decaying\u2014out of decomposition<\/em>\u2014into something neatly composed? Though it isn\u2019t a persona poem told from the mushroom\u2019s point of view, the language began to suggest that the mushroom could be speaking about itself in third person\u2014something that was much more exciting to me than me trying to relate fungi tidbits to the reader. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Revisiting an earlier draft of \u201cAxolotl,\u201d the poem ends with the text-chunk \u201cIf noon\u2019s the vortex hour\u2026 primitive streak business all figured out\u201d and I\u2019m not sure which I prefer now. There\u2019s something\u2014dare I utter it?\u2014satisfying about the axolotl seemingly knowing something we humans cannot know. Just as there\u2019s something intriguing about the final imagery of the devil\u2019s flower mantis in this version, especially following the meta line about syntax and imagery. I suppose the \u201cfinal\u201d iteration will depend upon the manuscript as a whole; the more I fine-tune the larger body of work the more clearly the poems will reveal themselves\u2014I mean, god I hope. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What are you working on right now?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the bestiary is my primary pet project (pun intended) and I\u2019m devoting much of my energy into its weavings, as a writer and artist I need to juggle multiple projects so as to avoid burnout. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve another manuscript [whose sense of line and punctuation and ambition is markedly different than my other work; it is a much more overtly queer feminist experimentation (for me anyhow)] that began as a chapbook, evolved into a full length and has now re-evolved back into a chapbook. If the bestiary is interested in cataloging a faux encyclopedia of my interests, fetishes, passions, concerns and fears\u2014this manuscript is interested in exploring a glimpse into a life in its particular moments. What\u2019s most interesting for me in this pursuit is the body of work\u2019s disinterest in me as the poet. I feel like these poems are doing what they want and I\u2019ve little say over it. Terrifying, yes, but also a relief. I\u2019m a vessel and little more, a mere medium.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another chapbook I am revisiting my father\u2019s coma. Perhaps enough time\u2019s passed that I can write about it from the scar and not the open wound. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m also collaborating with Donna Spruijt-Metz on what we\u2019ve coined our Exquisite Devils\u2014poems that take Emily Dickinson\u2019s last lines and use them as titles, as jumping off points\u2014because even though ED\u2019s poems end on the page they do not end in air. Donna and I were fortunate enough to go to MacDowell to work on these collaborations in the flesh (until then we were emailing). Being in the same space allowed us to pursue these poems in an entirely different approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

________<\/p>\n

Flower Conroy’s poems “Axolotl”<\/a> and “Mushroom”<\/a> appeared in<\/em> hex on April 26, 2022<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your pieces are incredibly abstract, are there specific meanings that you derive from them or hoped your audience would derive from them? I absolutely love […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1472"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1490,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1472\/revisions\/1490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}