THE PLAYERS
Cat: stage left\u2014sitting on hind legs, trembling a touch from the shock of the fall.
Snake: stage right\u2014half-coiled around faux-stump and water bowl.<\/p>\n
THE STAGE
40-gallon glass terrarium (needs a wash) upon gunmetal shelf in open closet.
Cat and Snake not seeming to realize Cat can leave by the way he fell in\u2014the mesh having bent in in a (seemingly) obfuscatory manner.<\/p>\n
__<\/p>\n
Curtain up.<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: I apologize.<\/p>\n Rest assured, I will not dine on you, no.<\/p>\n Was only chilling there for the heat.<\/p>\n Y\u2019know, from the heat lamp.<\/p>\n SNAKE: It is quite<\/em> the lamp.<\/p>\n But this is certainly quite<\/em> the violation.<\/p>\n Cat sneezing (cute sneeze, bubblegum-pitched, MEWCHOO).<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: I\u2019m sorry, the musk, it\u2019s sort of uhh unusual\u2014<\/p>\n SNAKE: How would you like it, bum?<\/p>\n If I invaded your abode, like some\u2026<\/p>\n some brownshirt?!<\/p>\n CAT: My abode\u2014uhh the apartment\u2014contains<\/em> your abode.<\/p>\n Wouldn\u2019t you say?<\/p>\n SNAKE: Stop bragging!<\/p>\n CAT: What?<\/p>\n Am I out of line?<\/p>\n SNAKE: Transgressor! Derelict!<\/p>\n CAT: Oh come on. Names, they do us nothing.<\/p>\n Why don\u2019t we let\u2019s make the most of this.<\/p>\n Snake hissing (sounds like a gas leak).<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: We hardly know each other.<\/p>\n After all.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Which is by design!<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: But we have an opportunity here\u2014<\/p>\n if not an outright responsibility!<\/p>\n SNAKE: Shut the hell up!<\/p>\n CAT: Don\u2019t you want to uhh make history?<\/p>\n SNAKE: Fuck history! What I want is to live in\u2026<\/p>\n in stillness! Lounging.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to think\u2026<\/p>\n don\u2019t want to have<\/em> to think.<\/p>\n Not everyone\u2019s cut out for a life of thought, y\u2019know.<\/p>\n Like I\u2019m a snake.<\/p>\n Water, mice, the lamp.<\/p>\n Wrapping myself around the occasional tattooed arm\u2014<\/p>\n that\u2019s good enough\u2014that\u2019s more<\/em> than good enough for me.<\/p>\n In fact, I am quite fulfilled\u2014<\/p>\n and then some!<\/em><\/p>\n \u2026which is to say, this life of mine is already too much, at times!<\/p>\n CAT: OK, OK.<\/p>\n Sheesh.<\/p>\n SNAKES: Keep your verdicts to yourself!<\/p>\n Cat yawning (like a little [human] baby).<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: How long you think it\u2019s been?<\/p>\n Since I uhh fell in?<\/p>\n SNAKE: Like 30 seconds, at most.<\/p>\n CAT: But who\u2019s counting?<\/em><\/p>\n Cat laughing softly, briefly.<\/em> SNAKE: You want some water?<\/p>\n CAT: What\u2019s that?<\/p>\n SNAKE: I said,<\/p>\n do you want some water?<\/p>\n CAT: Oh.<\/p>\n Yeah, OK.<\/p>\n Thanks.<\/p>\n Cat rising from hind legs, stretching to the fullest extent possible, walking pensive three inches to water bowl.<\/em> SNAKE: Pretty good, right?<\/p>\n Cat quitting his sips, but with neck remaining in water bowl.<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: Um. Yeah.<\/p>\n Yeah, it\u2019s not bad.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Not bad?<\/p>\n Cat craning neck back to normal cat-neck height.<\/em> CAT: I mean.<\/p>\n It\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Just fine?<\/p>\n CAT: It\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n SNAKE: So is it fine? or is it OK?<\/p>\n CAT: It\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n It\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Uh huh.<\/p>\n Beat.<\/em><\/p>\n CAT: I mean, it sucks shit, dude.<\/p>\n Like the worst water I\u2019ve had in my life.<\/p>\n Not a long life, I\u2019m little.<\/p>\n But I\u2019ve had plenty of water.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t know how you drink this sludge all day.<\/p>\n [Beat.]<\/em><\/p>\n Is [ROOMMATE] taking care of you OK?<\/p>\n Like\u2026<\/p>\n he should be changing this more.<\/p>\n SNAKE: You are the rudest being I\u2019ve ever come across.<\/p>\n Just speechless.<\/p>\n CAT: I can see why you\u2019re upset.<\/p>\n Why I\u2019ve upset you.<\/p>\n [Beat.]<\/em><\/p>\n You\u2019re right, I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s coming from a place of uhh.<\/p>\n Well.<\/p>\n Genuine concern?<\/p>\n SNAKE: I don\u2019t want to hear it!<\/p>\n CAT: It\u2019s like when your friend tells you you stink.<\/p>\n Like, stink in the wrong way.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Stop talking!<\/p>\n CAT: Stings for a bit.<\/p>\n But your buddy was helping you live your best life.<\/p>\n Undeniably.<\/p>\n You never know, your future mate could show up at any time\u2014and if you\u2019re stinky?<\/p>\n I mean bad stinky? what then?<\/p>\n So, it\u2019s really from a place of love.<\/p>\n SNAKE: Love? Love<\/em>? Oh that\u2019s fucking rich.<\/p>\n That\u2019s real fucking rich.<\/p>\n CAT: And why do you have to be so, like\u2026<\/p>\n like condescending?<\/p>\n SNAKE: You\u2019ve belittled me since second one<\/em>! of your stay.<\/p>\n CAT: Can\u2019t win with you.<\/p>\n SNAKE: So you admit it.<\/p>\n CAT: What?<\/p>\n SNAKE: That you\u2019re trying to win.<\/p>\n CAT: Cat-Jesus!<\/p>\n This is what I\u2019m saying!<\/p>\n SNAKE: I loathe<\/em> you.<\/p>\n CAT: Why!<\/p>\n What did I do!<\/p>\n Why live that way!<\/p>\n SNAKE: Intruder!<\/p>\n CAT: OK!<\/p>\n I\u2019ll go back to my corner, then.<\/p>\n Await my rescue.<\/p>\n SNAKE: It\u2019s not your corner.<\/p>\n CAT: [Under his breath]<\/em> Ohmycatgod\u2026<\/p>\n Fine fine, I\u2019ll go back to thee<\/em> corner.<\/p>\n SNAKE: You do that.<\/p>\n CAT: I will!<\/p>\n Cat does so, backing up (orange caboose).<\/em><\/p>\n Rescue will come eventually. (But time for our friends here\u2014<\/em>let\u2019s just say it feels pretty funny!)<\/em><\/p>\n Curtain falls.<\/em><\/p>\n FIN<\/p>\n\n\n __________<\/p>\n\n\n\n Z.H. Gill lives in East Hollywood, CA, with his cat Hans. He edits <\/em>Burial Magazine<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" THE PLAYERSCat: stage left\u2014sitting on hind legs, trembling a touch from the shock of the fall.Snake: stage right\u2014half-coiled around faux-stump and water bowl. THE STAGE40-gallon […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3074","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3074"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3074\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3098,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3074\/revisions\/3098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3074"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3074"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hexliterary.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3074"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Then a beat.<\/em>
Unsteady silence.<\/em><\/p>\n
Cat staring into murky water for a moment.<\/em>
Cat sipping: ncha ncha ncha ncha ncha.<\/em><\/p>\n
[Remember! Cat is WAY closer to Snake now! -Ed.]<\/em><\/p>\n