Now

But that does remind me, since the defining moment of my failed marriage to ex-wife Frizz happened in Orlando, of Jones, Florida, which is about an hour west. Thats where Fake Epcot Park is and Fake Epcot Park is the home of Epcot 2 which is an exact replica of Epcot in Orlando down to the trash cans. I’m telling you they send spies over to Epcot and notice when something changes and then the spy network reports back to Fake Epcot Park HQ and then they do the same modifications to Epcot 2 which the spies just told them about. It’s really very impressive and I started going there because I’m a real Epcothead, but ever since the ex-wife Frizz Orlando marriage ender I don’t go to Orlando anymore and I never will. I just wont set foot in the city limits ever again which is why when I found Epcot 2 over at Fake Epcot Park over in Jones I was absolutely delighted. I could go to Epcot again just like before. Here’s the thing, and you can probably tell what happened to me, it’s not hard to guess what happened the second time I was over at Epcot 2 at Fake Epcot Park, which is I had a cardiac arrest. So let this be a small warning about visiting Epcot 2 in Jones. The first time you go you’re just mostly picking it apart in your brain trying to notice some slip up versus Orlando Epcot, trying to notice some small thing out of place or some fabric of some flag not being correct or some flavor of some churro being a little not right or some name tag on some worker not being the right name, but heres the thing, I’ll just spoil it, you wont find one single hair out of place on that place because Epcot 2 is identical to Epcot Orlando other than the sign on that wonderful piece of architecture says Epcot 2 for legal purposes. So the first time you go you’re there just to tear it down, it’s only human nature to want to find some tiny thing wrong with anything wonderful, just ask ex-wife Frizz. But you wont. So the second time you go thats when, for me at least, your mileage may vary, you’ll need CPR because you will experience the collapse of your grasp on reality since you wont know what is true or false any longer and are you in Orlando or are you in Jones or since you’re at an Epcot are you in a far off land like Mexico south of the border? But the paramedic, I call her CPR Pam, and if you ever need a paramedic in the Jones, Florida area be sure to get CPR Pam, thats when CPR Pam told me about Fake Epcot 2 which is about an hour west of Jones in a town about half the size of Jones called Goodtime, Florida. In Goodtime, Florida they built a ½ scale Epcot 2 called Fake Epcot 2. Apparently they did the half-size thing to avoid their own legal stew with Fake Epcot Park saying they copied Epcot 2. But what Fake Epcot 2 has become is my gal darn favorite place in the world other than at Steve’s for tacos. Fake Epcot 2 is right down to the trash can exactly like Epcot 2 other than smaller. The only thing which is not smaller are the people which as you can imagine is only natural that you can’t have a half-size person let alone a staff of half-sized people. We’re talking half-sized everything, half-sized churros, half-sized plumbing, half-sized all the things, which when you miniaturize something it makes it harder to operate so probably the workers at Fake Epcot 2 are twice as smart but still regular sized. So if you visit Epcot 2 at Fake Epcot Park and experience deadly paranoia and anxiety due to the collapse of truth and what we take to believe is a concrete foundation on which we stand constituting sanity, then Fake Epcot 2 in Goodtime, Florida is for you since the half size of it puts your brain at ease. It’s also not nearly as crowded, about half as crowded, despite the half price admission. Inside Fake Epcot 2 the world is small, I mean your senses only go out and fill up and perceive the half-sized dome you are occupying, and you get a sense of this is what my head is like, this is just a miniature head is what it is over there in Goodtime, Florida at Fake Epcot 2. Your head, if we’re speaking in a sense of non-duality as the teachers and gurus and what have yous of Eastern thought convey, if we’re speaking of: you are more than the boundaries of your body, then what you come to is that you are what you perceive, and what that can feel like is a dome and when you are inside that Fake Epcot 2 what you get is: this is my head right here. That really gets hammered home I gotta say. And you realize whether it’s a half-sized fake dome or a real-sized fake dome or a real-sized real dome or just being wherever you happen to be, you are only occupying the same space in spacetime. But really it makes you wonder about living in a dome, like that you are just a dome stationary in your consciousness and the perception of time and space changes around you, it can feel like the world is closing in on you, like maybe you live in not a universe, not a planet, not a dome, not a half-sized dome, but more like you exist on the head of a pin, like you are getting squeezed, and it makes you wonder: if I am all that there is, and all that there is is what I perceive, then why did ex-wife Frizz divorce me in Orlando?

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Dan Weaver writes in Vermont. He is on Bluesky @supernaturalfeat.com. More of his work can be found at supernaturalfeat.com.