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We took turns being Firefly: the pink, winged unicorn with a blue mane and lightning bolts on her haunches. Firefly was the prettiest, and all […]

Near the surface of the turbid manmade lake glow tendrils. Ultraviolet clusters of slime, white spheres suspended in each sloppy cylinder. I’ve got a copper […]

The baby is chewing her fingers. She’ll put anything (a phone, a tube of barrier cream, your house keys, an empty blister pack of Methlyphenidate […]

“The mammoth hunters spectacularly occupy the cave wall and the mind, but what we actually did to stay alive and fat was gather seeds, roots, […]

I need to become a wrinkly, bitter old person immediately. Adolescence is such a bore. My friends obsess over boys, gossip, and grades. I’m shorter […]

Baby comes into the world fat bloody and useless. It stays this way all its life. No claws no bark no kelly green solar panels. […]

It was specifically stated in my will that my mother not be my embalmer. As the Commander-in-Chief of a country in strife, I was practical […]

My therapist says I need a healthier way to process my anger, so I purchase a personal volcano online. Outer insulation. Apartment scale. Sweet pick, […]

My mother hunted, and her mother before her. In the ancient history of indoors, Great-Nana was a realtor. A taste for houses runs in my […]

But that does remind me, since the defining moment of my failed marriage to ex-wife Frizz happened in Orlando, of Jones, Florida, which is about […]